I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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