If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm always down for nudity.
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