The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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