Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
