So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
