I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize