Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
