we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
