In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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