did you get engaged???
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
