walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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