Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
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