i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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