real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Your penis caused this!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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