sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
