Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
