I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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