you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
