I cockslap morals
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
