Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I AM VODKA MAN
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
