My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
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