dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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