That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
