Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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