TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
