Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Nicole vs. Life
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize