You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize