every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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