we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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