It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
