so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
