First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
