i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
