woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
