Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
