The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
