so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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