READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The struggles of a small town man whore
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
