My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
