i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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