Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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