1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
