My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
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