my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I see more hoeing in ur future
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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