I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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