Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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