wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
