dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
