The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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