I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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