wat bout pragnant strippers??
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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