That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize