It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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