hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
