The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
