craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
