Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
