I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
