I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
