Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
