I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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