Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
