why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
