I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
