like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize