i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
