My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
