some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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